Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
