these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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