you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
