Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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