this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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