Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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