he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
