so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
