Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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