He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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