Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
