I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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