she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
