Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
