You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
