No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you had me at cake vodka
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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