Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
