Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
