Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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