oh god the rape fog is back!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
