I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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