Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Randomize
