but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
