Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
