We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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