How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
