he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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