Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
