I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
