You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
