found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
