I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
