we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
