We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
