Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
