i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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