i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
