well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i've created a new STD.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
