Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
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