can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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