and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
