Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
