i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
