I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
