I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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