Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
