Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
