I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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