pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
