We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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